So Bad It’s Good: Romance in the Outfield: Double Play

She pulls the “you walked out on Kenzie” card, but why are these people acting like ending a relationship is an immoral decision? Do the filmmakers think that if you’re about to marry someone that must have been God’s plan, therefore any action that prevents that is sinful free will that leads to God harming yourself or others? How does one determine what is and isn’t God’s will so he doesn’t have to murder people? Why are these siblings so deeply involved in each other’s love lives? Brandon zings Tiffany by asking why she ran away, and her response is that “It all happened so fast”, as if her perception of time affects her decision making ability. If only this movie had pre-written dialogue so we weren’t jumping from character accusation to character accusation like a network soap opera parody. She goes back to the “perfect sister” well, and this entire situation has melted down into a toxic fight good enough to air on Bravo. Everyone’s chastising each other and failing to address the terrible thought processes and communication skills at the root of the issues here. Might as well have Heather’s ghost show up and yell at Tyler for making God kill her by not marrying Kenzie, and Amanda come in and yell at him for not playing baseball.

Chase finally walks outside to start picking on Brandon. Superhero music starts playing as Brandon valiantly defends his honor by trying to shove Chase. “Trying” is the key word, because Chase does not even falter. Chase shoves Brandon to the ground, and a drum begins to beat menacingly. Tyler’s rage overtakes him, and he advances on Chase to out-masculine him. The hero music swells back up, hitting its crescendo as Brandon and Chase cock their fists. Tiffany screams for them to stop. What a fantastic climax for this movie – a woman’s ex and brother come to beat up the man she is spending some time with, only to be stopped by a bracelet slogan.

Kill Chase in a car wreck?

Brandon says that he’s not Jesus, and then brags about how non-confrontational and Christ-like he is, as if we didn’t just watch the first part of the scene. Chase says that cowards hide behind their religion; because atheists are always champing at the bit for a fistfight? It’s unclear what he’s trying to convey with that dialogue.

Tyler wants to know if there’s anything inside of Tiffany that loves Chase, and Brandon asks if Chase is her choice. During that moment, the camera pans over Chase and Tiffany, and he’s staring into the middle distance with a smoldering smize that would enthrall Janice Dickinson. A better movie would have ended with her saying, “Yeah, look at him,” and locking Tyler and Brandon outside while she goes off to have a happy relationship with someone who at least isn’t yelling questions at her. Of course, that would allow her to have agency and this film can’t even manage to find a way for her to interact with another woman. She runs inside, Brandon runs after her. Tyler acts menacingly towards Chase who gives a summary of his first scene with Tiffany before wandering off. This disconnection of events comes across as mundane as you can imagine.

Back inside, Tiffany is crying. Brandon comes over to tell her how perfect she is because no other word can be used to describe this character. No wonder these people seem so unwell, they’ve received nothing but absolute praise and devotion from everyone around them. How are they to know which of the self-confessed perfect people is the right one? And the characters are clearly not perfect, but the film is too busy describing and summarizing its own action for characters to reflect. There’s never a moment of redemption from the bad stuff they do except for getting back into a monogamous relationship with the correct love interest. Brandon says the only sensible thing in the movie: that he’d be okay with her dating Chase if she’s happy. Maybe he shouldn’t hang out with a bad apple like Tyler anymore – Brandon becomes a decent guy when Tyler is gone. This conversation ends on a cliffhanger after he desperately tries to get her to take him back.

The movie cuts over to the ongoing softball scrimmage that Tyler and Kenzie kind of discussed earlier. Something softbally happens, and then Kenzie and Tyler announce that the game is tied and that the players don’t have time for extra innings. How will the plot be resolved now? This is the riveting conflict we watch movies for – the conclusion of a softball game played by teenagers that has no stakes or bearing on the rest of the movie. How could they get the adult main characters involved so that it does matter to the plot?

Chelsie has an idea: they should end the scene by Kenzie pitching to Tyler. He wins if he hits a home run and she wins if she strikes him out. They didn’t address any of the other possible options…

Tyler walks into the batter’s box, and there’s an umpire behind the plate. This actress is credited for the role of “McKinlee” in the credits, and she’s also the catcher on the original poster for this movie. Was Tyler part of a love triangle with McKinlee and Kenzie at one point? Is that why Derek Boone can’t stop saying “McK-” in so many scenes? What occurred that led to her becoming a glorified extra? She creates so many questions about the development and production, but in this film’s world she’s just an umpire that adds nothing to the story but realism since softball games have umpires.

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