So Bad It’s Good: Romance in the Outfield: Double Play

It turns out that she is tired of being a good Christian girl that lives her life for others. Being selfless and saintly is, like, so hard. Sometimes you just abandon your partner because you want to do a Dark side playthrough. But, reality check… “being too Christian” is not a relatable problem. And isn’t the whole point of the religion that having the Christian mindset helps one cope in times of hardship? Like Jesus on the cross? Being too Jesus-y is undoubtedly a heavy burden in suburban Utah. Why not have her and Brandon have a real relationship issue that she can discuss? Not being able to tell anyone in her family about their relationship – that’s a big deal. Chase is unphased by this relationship monologue, and he offers her a generic platitude.

Tyler and Brandon throw a baseball back and forth while Tyler recounts the last scene to Brandon, the man who almost married Tiffany.

Tyler: Dude, she was in a wedding dress hanging out with some guy she said was her designer. Why would she even be getting fitted for a wedding dress, she’s not dating anyone I know of.

*Brandon shrugs*

He doesn’t think to ask Tyler why he’s so upset about his sister marrying without being consulted. He doesn’t ask Tyler whether he’s happy for Tiffany, or what his thoughts on the idea of it might be. Brandon only has one follow up question, and it will have nothing to do with building these characters or advancing the emotional arcs.

Always focused on the important stuff.

Tyler describes Chase as a handsome, muscly looking dude, and Brandon says it’s probably just a phase. He thinks dating a hot guy is a phase? One day she’ll realize she can’t make decisions for herself, and that she needs to date the comic relief so the movie can be over. Brandon offers to return her stuff and “talk some sense into her”, and that’s fine with Tyler because he doesn’t really care.

Kenzie has arrived just in time for Brandon to be off. Once he’s gone alone, Tyler and Kenzie discuss their backstory memories. It looks like the first time they met happened to be on this exact field!

They played catch, and Tyler asked her to teach him to bat because these writers think that is the sexiest thing you can do in a baseball movie. Does he do that with every woman he dates? Tyler’s lucky bat is clumsily introduced, and he gives it to the woman he apparently just met. He says she can use it to ward off creepy men, so, naturally, she “jokingly” hits him. She’s not wrong.

Apparently Tyler thinks she hates him, but she actually believes that they had something wonderful. Why else would she keep showing up in the movie?

Another flashback to the first day they met shows Tyler saying that he loves when she scrunches her nose and the purity of her heart. Don’t say that to people you just met – if someone says they love the purity of your heart when they meet you, you’re going to end up in a grave or a cult (or you’ll go on a fourth date and never quite kiss like these two near-spouses).

Now it’s improv time again, and Derek Boone cannot remember the name of his character’s love interest. He says, “Look, McKen-” and Kenzie cuts him off to correct him. You can choose to not show the parts where actors make mistakes. And worst of all, this will not be the last time either – Tyler nearly married this woman, and he will still continue to struggle with the most basic thing about her.

Kenzie says her batting average with men isn’t great, and it’s nice to see they learned a new baseball term – they really knocked this one out of the park… they’ve raised their OPS+ (on-base + pun slugging). The crowd goes wild.

Kenzie wants to know why she wasn’t worth kissing when they’re interrupted by her sister because that’s how bad movies prevent characters from accidentally giving away too much plot information. Conflict feels forced when characters are barred from expressing themselves for the sole purpose of doing it later. It’s also hard to understand what the point of the movie is when Tyler can’t answer this question which was answered in the other movie. We know it’s not a question of worth, but Tyler doesn’t explain that, and doesn’t think about Heather or give any hint towards discussing her. This is a prime moment to showcase the Christian moral dilemma in this movie, but the filmmakers would have to know what that is first…

Søren Kierkegaard, over here…

Elsewhere that evening, Tiffany is contemplatively sitting in the hot tub when Chase barges out to see her. Guess he can let himself into the house now? He scares the crap out of her, but he’s too cool to care. He starts stripping down like he’s going to transform into a werewolf, but he stops taking off his pants and just climbs into the hot tub despite her protestations. She is into it, but she doesn’t want to be. He looks at her seductively.

The whole reason he’s here is to reveal why he was at the church in the first place since he isn’t an uber driver. He was there to see somebody else apparently; but who? It does not matter. It doesn’t come back, it doesn’t relate to the story, it wasn’t anyone who is in the film. His story meanders from that first scene to an acknowledgment that the present is occurring. Then he proposes that they play 20 questions because the writers don’t know how to make adults have normal conversation in an appropriate setting.

She asks him to put a shirt on because of how hot he is, and he ignores her. Here’s the exchange:

Chase: Favorite food?
Tiffany: Cordon Bleu.
Chase: What’s your favorite childhood memory?
Tiffany: Water skiing with family.
Chase: What’s the most rewarding thing you’ve ever done?
Tiffany: Serving a mission.
Chase: What’s the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done?
beat
Chase: Come on, answer it.
Tiffany: Uh, probably hanging out with you.
Chase: When was your first kiss?

She doesn’t answer that.

What did this conversation reveal? A food she’ll never eat, a memory that doesn’t relate to anything, and a plot point already known to the audience. None of that makes any difference, and it doesn’t even serve to give this character dimension because it’s all forced.

Why isn’t she asking him questions back? Why doesn’t he pry into any of her answers? The only meaningful revelation is that this character is Mormon since she served a mission. While Mormonism has no specific doctrine on kissing, it does advise that followers be “sparing with [their] kisses”, so that doesn’t even help with understanding the point of these films.

Chase cuts to the heart of the film’s plot, and asks what her biggest regret is…

Her answer? Her first scene. The only thing she has done in this movie. And he really has to push her to answer it, which is uncomfortable.

Her family has no idea, and he is the only person besides Brandon who has any idea. This film plays cheesy music as Chase is overjoyed that he and this woman he met two days ago when she ran away from her wedding have a secret, and it’s a wonder this film thinks any of what is happening is romantic.

The film cuts over to Agent Allan talking to Tyler – he has some good news and some bad news.

The good news is that he can get Tyler into a facility with real trainers and doctors that will help him actually heal instead of using homeopathy or whatever. Nothing will happen relating to this news. Tyler won’t see a real trainer, he won’t work out, and he won’t visit a facility. The bad news (aside from the good news being pointless) is that this movie doesn’t understand baseball.

Agent Allan says that because Tyler’s injury has lasted 60 days, he’s been put on the disabled list. Nope, that’s not how any of that works.

Tyler was a minor leaguer who was called up to the big leagues at one point. The timeline is murky (Agent Allan says he played in a few games), but let’s assume he was injured on the MLB roster. A player who gets injured on the Angels would be evaluated by a doctor, and said doctor would give a specific diagnosis like a torn rotator cuff, labral, or “SLAP” tear. The doctor would say how long the recovery time is (usually in the months for those specific injuries), and the player would be placed on the Major League Injured List (changed from the disabled list for the 2019 MLB season). The player would stay around the MLB team rehabbing since they were on the roster, and they get the full salary and benefits of being a Major League player – they are not cut, forced to retire, or made to choose between baseball and love. They definitely don’t go home to podunk Utah where their holistic trainer and useless agent work together to cobble together a semblance of treatment. It’s no wonder Tyler is confused when he receives this news. His injury may end his baseball career, but he somehow had no idea his shoulder was that bad. 

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