So Bad It’s Good: Pitching Love and Catching Faith

The next scene really wants to be a good one. This is supposed to be a meaty scene, where these two at-odds characters begin to break down their walls and bond over the shared love of throwing and hitting balls. It opens with Heather in her uniform for no reason before cutting to her at night wearing practice clothes. Tyler is, for the second time in the movie, staring at someone batting through a backstop. He’s going to come teach Heather, the All-Conference player, how to play softball properly.

How would she ever have gotten by in the sport she’s best at without a guy showing her how to do it?

The things they’re saying make no sense, and it’s made worse by the fake southern accent Heather has suddenly acquired. Maybe it was improvised for this scene because it never comes back and has no bearing on her story. She could have been from Utah and it wouldn’t have mattered.

That won’t be addressed for a while, though. First Tyler has to describe the profound simplicity of batting. “That feel of a bat in your hand… when it meets the ball… it’s a rush.” Heather is absolutely captivated by this. She’s never heard anyone describe batting like this.  

Wow, he’s, like, so deep.

Of course, he has to show her how to bat, and clearly no one on set knew how to bat.

Heather gets into the weirdest stance – she looks like she’s trying to use a squatty potty for the first time. He’s rubbing up against her, and there’s almost mild sexual tension as he grinds his waist against her rear. He describes this fantasy of the ball coming, seeing it right and swinging at the perfect moment… but she never swings. There’s no sound editing to make it seem like she’s batting in her imagination, like a roaring crowd, whooshing balls, or the crack of the ball hitting the bat. Heather just stands there and he’s like, “I’m a pretty good teacher, huh? I’m so much better than you.” She doesn’t seem into it, but then he asks about her bad accent and encourages her to use it more because that’s what great guys do, or something.

Tyler then gets a call from someone who turns out to be the scout who is literally at the baseball stadium because they bump into each other.

What?!

Ron’s just in town for a couple of days, so he decided to come to the stadium and surprise Tyler. He’s mostly here to talk about the chemistry between Heather and Tyler because someone needs to let the audience know that it’s there. Ron says that the two of them make a good item, and that the Angels really like players that know how to date a hot woman.

None of this is an exaggeration, that’s his entire purpose in this scene. 

This is supposed to be the big inciting moment of the film – Tyler wants to be a major league baseball player by pretending to date this girl who barely seems interested in him. How will he win her over so he can achieve his goal of being a baseball player? Instead, the movie completely forgets this moment until it needs to be vaguely addressed to add tension. Ron never comes back, he never speaks to Heather, and Tyler pretending to date her never comes back to bite him in any way. It does not matter to the film.

So then we watch an exterior shot of Heather and Kami walking home with groceries, and then it cuts to them already inside the apartment putting the bags down. What? Just don’t show them outside, it’s like the Chili’s thing. If we see them enter a door with groceries, we’re not going to be confused about where they are. Like they brought the groceries to the baseball field, the only other location used in this film.

It’s a tiny moment, but c’mon!



This will be a scene showing parallel conversations between Heather and Kami, and Tyler and Brandon. The women are talking about how Tyler has never kissed, and Kami is clumsily trying to challenge Heather to kiss him like they’re in middle school. Heather is up to the challenge, but she needs to be wary that “Mr. Missionary” might try to convert her. To what? Who knows. You’d think she would have learned a lesson about guys with different beliefs after Seth dumped her, but the movie probably doesn’t even remember he exists.

Tyler and Brandon are talking about how Heather is so not Tyler’s type, though that will never get an explanation. He has to make it work because the Angels like it when their players have good chemistry with women, and he’s always wanted to be a baseball player. Do these people not understand how inappropriate it is for a business to use their employees’ personal lives to justify hiring? Do the Angels care if their players are gay? What do the filmmakers think it means for a sports organization to take such a stance when it comes to choosing players? Trust me, none of that matters anyway; do you honestly think that won’t be resolved in a matter of minutes?

Just forget that was motivation because nothing matters, everything withers and dies, this movie has sapped any meaning from life. Kiss or no kiss, that’s the only question.

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COMMENTS

  • <cite class="fn">Daryl Ned</cite>

    Wow!! 10 page critique by Mr Jacobs? We enjoyed the very unique and sensitive handling of the subject matter of the movie! It was very interesting and novel! Thank you so much! Interested in watching more of your movies! Thank you!

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