Your Holiday Guide to Bad Christmas Movies
2. Homeless for the Holidays
Shot almost entirely in close-ups, Homeless for the Holidays is about Jack Baker, a marketing executive who is fired from his job at an indiscernible time of year. Despite his fifteen years of corporate experience, Jack (who looks like a lanky Adam Sandler) can only find employment at a fast food restaurant. The tone is wildly inconsistent, jumping from unfunny comedy beats to melodramatic marital troubles to a character monologuing at a civil worker about the efficacy of welfare in a span of three scenes. The score sounds like a royalty-free version of Bugs Bunny music made on a Casio. The worst part about this movie is its 105 minute run time. Most of these movies keep it around 80 minutes, but the editor of Homeless for the Holidays appears to be unaware that you don’t need to shoehorn in all of the footage just because it was shot. I can really only recommend this to experienced movie masochists, it is a slog to sit through despite the ample amounts of absurd.
Available on Amazon Prime
1. A Little Christmas Business
The filmmakers have the audacity to charge $4.99 (£3.95) for this monstrosity.
Daniel Baldwin stars in this bizarre series of poorly mic’d scenes that mostly take place in an office building with sweet wood panelling. The work-oriented Baldwin takes a tumble, and is confronted with ghosts of his past, including a school nurse, his old coach from the high school boxing team, and a tween newsy that can’t quite deliver a New York accent. The script is rich with on-the-nose messaging about the importance of spending time with your family, and seems temporally and spatially confused when it comes to subplots. There’s a grandmother with terrible dementia that’s treated comedically while affecting nothing. If you aren’t completely sold yet, what if I told you it’s only a 75 minute commitment? This is the peak of terrible Christmas films, and ranks up there with The Room for the title of best worst film ever.
Available on Amazon Prime
Have you seen any of these bad Christmas films? Has this list made you more inclined to check them out? Let us know in the comments and be sure to follow us on Facebook and Twitter for more lists like this one.
