What Happens When You Spend A Week Watching Christmas 24?

Conclusion

You remember when Morgan Spurlock was advised to stop his Super Size Me experiment because he turned a strange greyish colour and faced serious health ramifications? That has been me over these past few days.

It felt like I needed to conclude this social experiment and let you know what spending “a week” (five days, whatever) watching Christmas 24 did to me. Firstly, it annoyed the hell out of myself and everyone around, especially my Dad who had to give up his 7PM TV slot. So big shout out to Barry’s sacrifice to make this all possible.

Secondly, it made me crave good films again and I will be busting out my personal favorite Bernard and the Genie ASAP . Finally, it made me drink more than I usually would in an evening (2 glasses of wine and I’m anyone’s), but that made it bearable. Another big shout out to my main man: alcohol.

But the million dollar question is, did it make me feel differently about Christmas? The answer is a resounding no. Unfortunately, Hallmark seem to have grasped an image more suited to one of their cards, and crafted a typically two dimensional moment into an ostentatious Christmas film collection.

While it may look good on the surface with pretty decorated houses and picturesque snowy scenes, the messages are flat and stagnant. Movies on the Christmas 24 channel tend to blur the idea with the ideals, creating a sickly soulless smog of red and green.

Christmas is not about the bows on your door, the lights on your tree or the redness of your poinsettia. It’s not about snowman building competitions, candy-cane tossing or baking gingerbread men. Christmas has always been about coming together with loved ones and sharing laughter – the iconography came much, much later.

These films sell a lifestyle geared around the commercial value of Christmas, so it comes as no surprise that Hallmark – the king of holiday sell-out – is directly responsible for them. Not to mention, the idea that Christmas (as stressful as it is) would be the perfect time to change your life and/or pursue a new beau.

In fact, the time I have spent watching this channel has made me appreciate the value of Christmas, which is something that can’t be slapped on a tacky card and sold to the masses. It has also brought me closer with people on Twitter and got Katie Doyle to divulge her amazing vomit story. Further proof that Christmas brings people together, and that’s friggin A!

Thanks to everyone that gave a shit about this experiment and kept me going, you were all brilliant.

So, until my last review of the year goes live, I’d like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  I for one look forward to having a few glasses of Bailey’s, eating too much cheese and dancing with my pets.

Elizabeth Howlett

Elizabeth Howlett

Multi-platform journalist and film psychoanalyst who loves 80s films, but doesn’t think much of John Hughes. Horror and fantasy theory is her jam and she can quote anything at the drop of a hat. Her brain holds more pop culture references than you can shake a stick at and she hums the theme to Jurassic Park without realising. Heir to the throne and rightful queen of puns – you owe her your allegiance.
Elizabeth Howlett