[Voiceover: “Live from the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures in Los Angeles, please welcome President of The Academy David Reuben.”]
David: “Good morning, and welcome to the brand new David Gethin theatre at the Academy Museum. [Some Academy Museum promo later…] We’re here this morning to announce nominations for the 92nd Oscars. [Some spiel about how prestigious and fair the whole procedure is later…] And now, I’m pleased to introduce this morning’s hosts: [The Film Magazine].”
[A small smattering of applause drowned out by royalty free music…]
Hello and welcome to the official announcement of the Alternative Oscars 2020, wherein we here at The Film Magazine have openly rejected The Academy’s approach to judging films by ignoring all popular consensus and critical opinion to instead embrace both in nominating an elite selection of filmmakers who were not nominated at the (TM) Official Oscars into these… the first-ever Official Non-Official Alternative Oscars.
In this list of nominees, we’ll be embracing the very best of the rest to establish who was most sorely missed from the (TM) Official Oscars nominees list (read it here), and who exactly deserved to be considered amongst the industry’s very best for 2019. So, without any further ado, let us introduce you to our first-ever class of Best of the Rest Rejects.
And your nominees are…
Actor In a Leading Role
Robert De Niro (The Irishman)
Paul Walter Hauser (Richard Jewell)
George MacKay (1917)
Robert Pattinson (The Lighthouse)
Adam Sandler (Uncut Gems)
The Irishman has 10 nominations at the Official Oscars this year, but Robert De Niro is somehow not one of them despite being on screen for almost all of its run-time and anchoring the picture in a sense of legitimate truth. The same can be said of George MacKay in 1917, an actor whose every choice is there to be picked apart and judged because of the film’s admirable technique of capturing the action, but whose awards season appreciation has been null and void.
Similarly, the absence of at least one Robert Pattinson performance, specifically that of the one in The Lighthouse, seems to be gross oversight by the academy; the actor offering his best year ever and one of the best years overall for any actor in 2019. Meanwhile, Paul Walter Hauser and Adam Sandler are so sorely missing from the actual group of nominees that it’s actually embarrassing for the Official Oscars to even consider themselves as genuinely capable of being able to judge acting, each actor offering once in a lifetime performances of the highest order worthy of much more love than either has received thus far received.
Recommended for you: If The Oscars Had A “Most Extraordinary Overall Output” Award
Actress In a Leading Role
Awkwafina (The Farewell)
Jessie Buckley (Wild Rose)
Noémie Merlant (Portrait of a Lady on Fire)
Lupita Nyong’o (Us)
Florence Pugh (Midsommar)
The diversity of genres covered in our Alternative Oscars Leading Actress category is evidence of the rich work of women in cinema across the board, the likes of Lupita Nyong’o and Florence Pugh offering equally stellar though distinctly different leading horror film performances that could rival just about any in the genre ever, while Jessie Buckley was a runaway success as the down-on-her-luck want-to-be Country singer in the music-inspired Wild Rose, the Irish actress embodying the weight of classist expectation against lofty dreams.
Awkwafina and Noémie Merlant each offered more traditional dramatic roles – the kind the Official Oscars usually like the most – though their absence from the Oscars’ Leading Actress category is likely due to issues not to do with their talent and more to do with prejudice. In truth, any of these 5 women could have infiltrated the status quo selection of the Official Oscars‘ list of nominees without anyone batting an eyelid.