It’s that time of week again – Monday, duh – so it’s time to fill your evening with some comic relief courtesy of some really bad cinema. This week, our subjects accidentally provided us with enough ammunition to certify their careers as “all but dead”. That’s right, this week’s list is… 10 of the Worst: Career Sinking Movies. Enjoy!
10. Val Kilmer – Red Planet (2000)
Less 2001: A Space Odyssey and more Muppets in Space. Am I right?
Val Kilmer was such a huge star in the 90’s that not even a poor Joel Schumacher imagining of Batman – Batman Forever (1995) – could keep this man out of the limelight. He was worth so much to the box office that he even voiced Moses. Yes, the Moses, in The Prince of Egypt (1998). But, with the introduction of the 21st century came the end of Kilmer’s financial viability and the supposed ‘on set diva’ had his career, andpaypackets, take a downward spiral that has resulted in him only making appearances as secondary characters in second-rate action movies like Deja Vu (2006). After Red Planet, he did literally nothing for 2 years. 2 years!
9. Chris O’Donnell – Batman and Robin (1997)
Nipples and cheese, anyone?
Continuing with the Batman theme… The nipple-fiasco of 1997’s Batman movie – Batman and Robin – hit Chris O’Donnell’s career the hardest, with the 90’s heartthrob all but disappearing from our screens for 12 years, before reappearing (and reasserting his talents) in NCIS: Los Angeles.
8. Geena Davis – Cutthroat Island (1995)
Geena Davis was a certified leading lady in the early 90’s, with her appearance in Thelma & Louise (1991) perhaps being her biggest ever picture. So, come 1995’s $98million pirate production Cutthroat Island, there isn’t a single better actress to lead the picture. However, the film sucked so much that it brought in an abysmal $10million at the box office and put an end to viable pirate projects until the release ofPirates of the Caribbean in 2003, certifying itself as one of the worst failures of all time. Davis’ career plummeted with an appearance as Stuart Little’s adopted Mother being the last major picture we saw her in, in 2002.
7. Tom Green – Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
The Backwards Man lost his funny bone.
If you don’t know who Tom Green is then you were probably too young to be watching the vulgar Freddy Got Fingered movie that killed his career. Lucky you! This film focussed almost solely on prepubescent humour and insulting as many people as possible, killing the promising young career of its star who had, at one time, been looking to follow in the footsteps of Jim Carrey. Long story short, he’s barely been seen since.
6. John Travolta – Battlefield Earth (2000)
Scientology gone mad(der).
This picture’s intimate links with the growing Scientology religion brought about just about as much bad press as is possible in modern day North America, and John Travolta’s position in the starring role was almost a career killer. For supporting act Barry Pepper (Saving Private Ryan, etc.), it pretty much was. Travolta has managed to stay in the limelight ever since, but his star image has forever been stained by his Scientology links, made most public by this picture.
5. Cuba Gooding, Jr. – Snow Dogs (2002)
The Synopsis: When a Miami dentist inherits a team of sled dogs, he’s got to learn the trade or lose his pack to a crusty mountain man.
Cuba Gooding, Jr. was a young Hollywood actor who had already accumulated an Oscar nod for his work as a supporting actor in Jerry Maguire (1996), so when Disney came knocking with a live action Christmas movie to ‘spread Holiday cheer’, it seemed like a good fit. But, it wasn’t, and the movie was shamed by almost all who saw it… Including kids! Gooding, Jr. followed this up with the awful Boat Trip and his career has been sinking dramatically ever since.
4. Eddie Murphy – The Adventures of Pluto Nash(2002)
The comedy legend that is Eddie Murphy should have probably come to an end before 2002’s The Adventures of Pluto Nash and his switch into ‘family comedy’. Because, for the longest time, Mr. Murphy was adored by just about everybody and with good reason. Unfortunately, this movie did happen and Murphy’s career has been most noted for his continued presence in the Shrek franchise ever since. Pluto Nash bombed at the box office and Murphy’s career followed.
3. Halle Berry – Catwoman (2004)
Imagine the emo-dance scene from Spiderman 3 made into a whole movie.
This picture was about as over the top and ludicrous as you could imagine. So much so that even the comic book genre couldn’t handle it! The shame of the piece was the resulting decline in this Academy Award winning actress’s career. Never again would the A-Lister see such heights as Catwoman would bomb… With everyone.
2. Mike Myers – The Love Guru (2008)
Hockey, oils and the Kamasutra. Yeah…
After critical acclaim on Saturday Night Live, Wayne’s World and Austin Powers, Mike Myers became a juggernaut of the comedy world. Then, with the world anticipating the potential of another Powers movie, he announced The Love Guru. It turned out to be one of the least funny movies ever made and he’s done nothing since. He can still make his way back into our hearts if therumoured Austin Powers 4 is any good, so that’s something, right?
1. Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez – Gigli (2003)
They did what now?!
Ever wanted to see two careers crash and burn before your very eyes? If so, make sure you watchGigli, if you can even find it anywhere! This film that’s synopsis describes it as: The violent story about how a criminal lesbian, a tough-guy hit-man with a heart of gold, and a mentally challenged man came to be best friends through a hostage. Is awful. It’s truly atrocious. The real-life couple used it as a publicity stunt to further their celebrity status and instead killed each other’s careers. Want to know why people are mad that Affleck is Batman in Batman vs Superman? Because he spent 10 years playing awful parts in terrible rom–coms as a result of the 2 hours spent on screen with his then wife. Lopez hasn’t had an acting career since then. That says it all.