5 Terrible Cinematic Depictions of Jesus Christ
3. Godspell: A Musical Based on the Gospel According to St Matthew (1973) Victor Garber
Godspell is in the really bad territory. There is every possibility that the on-stage version of Godspell is fantastic – after all, it does boast some pretty good songs such as “Prepare Ye” – but its translation to the silver screen is beyond lacklustre.
Godspell transports the story of Jesus Christ to modern day New York in which Jesus and his followers are a travelling theatre troupe, performing the parables of St Matthew’s Gospel on the streets. It’s obvious that both cast and crew thought this was the coolest way that Christ’s story had ever been told: this might have been true in 1973 (although Jesus Christ Superstar, also from 1973, wipes the floor with this movie) but it’s not the case anymore. It’s like a bunch of Theology students come to tell you the story of Jesus in a way that is apparently super cool for teenagers.
Godspell is trying really hard to make St Matthew’s Gospel quirky. For the entire runtime, Christ and his disciples solely communicate and do their storytelling with wacky voices, cartoon references, bad impressions and weird noises. Not only is it really annoying, but it’s an insult to Christ’s message. It’s as if they’re too embarrassed to take the Good News of the Gospel seriously so they have to hide behind their goofiness. At the forefront of this is Victor Garber’s Christ, who is by no means the most talented of his own troupe. The only reason he stood out from the rest of the group is because he was the most stupid looking with his bootleg Superman t-shirt and bad haircut (there are plenty of bad wigs in this list but this is the only instance of a bad perm).
In terms of performance, Garber’s Christ lacks charisma or any real warmth (only manipulative friendliness to make people to do what he wants). In fact, it seems to be a case of Christ believing his own hype.
A moment that captures Garber’s mischaracterisation of Jesus is when he is teaching his disciples about forgiveness with the famous motto of turn the other cheek, a point he underlines by back-handing David Haskell’s Judas with no provocation. This lesson might have been more effective if Jesus actually led by example in this instance; he at least would have looked like less of an a-hole. What makes this moment even more distasteful is that Haskell was the superior talent in the film. His performance as John the Baptist had tonnes more charisma and mystery, especially as he is the one who initially gathers the disciples. In turn, his Judas is more provocative and sympathetic. Garber’s performance as Christ is so jarring that it’s a relief (and slightly amusing) when he’s finally tied to a fence to die.
Recommended for you: Katie Doyle’s “Movies I Had a Religious/Spiritual Experience with”
4. The Greatest Story Ever Told (1965) Max Von Sydow
This four-hour-plus runtime is a slog to get through and there is not much to hold our attention. In fact, this particular film is credited for killing dead the historical/biblical epic that had enjoyed massive popularity in Hollywood in previous years. Impressive. The Greatest Story Ever Told is legendary in its infamy: its location shooting in the US with the Grand Canyon serving as a background to the Sermon on the Mount, its random cameos, its often bizarre direction, and the forever bizarre casting choice of Max Von Sydow as Jesus.
This film was Sydow’s debut in Hollywood after his success in Sweden; thank God for his role as Fr Merrin in The Exorcist eight years later – thank God for Ming the Merciless! The Greatest Story Ever Told could have easily killed Sydow’s career dead in the water, especially as nearly every production decision was plain weird and was often directly detrimental to his performance (including a really ugly wig). Director George Stevens seemed more interested in shooting vistas than the human story of Christ, so the whole thing was frustratingly shot in mostly long shots, alongside the story of the Gospel being told in all the wrong order.
The other strange choice is Max Von Sydow’s acting…
It might have been an attempt at reverence, but Sydow’s performance as Christ is very understated. It makes Jesus come across as a cold character, which combined with the film’s odd dialogue makes him look like an outsider, a freak. A creepy one too. His Christ makes out that his miracles of healing are actually down to an individual’s can-do attitude, and he pontificates in such a manner to his disciples when they are annoyed by things like actual theft. It gives the impression he doesn’t actually care about the problems of humanity, and in that way Sydow’s Christ is more akin to cult leader. He is quite unlikeable.
To make matters worse, numerous big star cameos distract from Sydow’s performance and induce some unintentional belly laughs. Charlton Heston as John the Baptist is a riot, screaming “Repent” as he dunks soldiers in the Jordan who are trying to arrest him. Shelly Winters gives us a good laugh when she comes out of nowhere to grab the front of Jesus’ robes to loudly announce she has been healed. Worst of all, as Sydow musters his best performance in the film as Christ dies on the cross, the moment is completely ruined as a half-cut John Wayne slurs his proclamation of: “Truly this man was a Son of God!”
It’s a thigh-slapper of a moment. Not at all appropriate for the crucifixion of Christ.
The quicker this film is lost to the sands of time, the better.
5. Son of God (2014) Diogo Morgado
This is definitely the worst of the bunch.
Son of God is the film adaptation of a 10-hour miniseries produced by The History Channel based on the Gospel according to St John. It’s a low quality production, but this doesn’t absolve Diogo Morgado of a poor performance.
The casting of a James Franco lookalike in the role of Jesus is a cynical act by the production team – they were aiming for the lonely housewife brigade here. There isn’t anything inherently wrong with casting a heartthrob in the role of Jesus, but unfortunately Morgado can’t really act. God love him though, he really tries. When quoting direct biblical quotes he is all flared nostrils and quirked eyebrows.
The real shame is that Son of God does boast some very unique ideas that haven’t been done before. One such example is the raising of Lazarus: Jesus enters right into the tomb and stands over the corpse. He then bends down, closes his eyes and places a kiss upon Lazarus’ head. As he opens his eyes, Lazarus’ eyes fly open. It’s a cool idea that is fumbled by the total lack of any believable emotional response over the resurrection of a dead man.
When Son of God isn’t mishandling its own ideas, it steals from others. It is very difficult to take the Easter portion of the film seriously as it is essentially a rip-off of Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. At least with The Passion, Caviezel had the physical talent to portray Christ’s suffering. Morgado, on the other hand, doesn’t have the talent to back up all his efforts. It only really becomes laughable after Christ’s scourging, and his torturers come to taunt him with a crown of thorns – Morgado can only wish his so-called trembling looked credible. The laughs come during the actual crucifixion scene; thus there is a greater appreciation for Caviezel’s Christ speaking in Aramaic for Morgado’s pain-strangled speech is really difficult to not giggle at. This is another film that ruins Christ’s sacred Passion by making it a ridiculous spectacle.
The moral of the story when it comes to Son of God is that if those of faith acted with a bit of discernment, we wouldn’t have so many unworthy people making money off the story of Jesus Christ.
Recommended for you: 5 Great Cinematic Depictions of Jesus Christ
From the pantheon of depictions of Christ on film come these five terrible portrayals. But which portrayals do you most despise? Which portrayals cause you the most offence? Let us know in the comments and be sure to follow @thefilmagazine on Facebook and X (Twitter), as well as across other social platforms, for more insightful movie lists.
